The Pie Tester

Very pleased to say that my poem The Pie Tester was highly commended by Carole Bromley in the YorkMix Children’s Poetry Competition. Congratulations to joint winners Elizabeth Sanders and Sarah Ziman who share the honour of first prize. Here for your perusal is my poem … hope you like it 🙂

The Pie Tester

I am the man who tests the pies
they set before the King.
With fingers, nose, ears, tongue and eyes,
I check for everything.

In order for the pie to pass,
examined it must be;
I use a magnifying glass
to see what I can see …

I take the pie and shake it hard,
in case I hear “tick tock.”
I would not want to disregard
a time bomb with a clock.

And then the golden pastry crust
I sniff and give a lick;
the glaze, you see, I do not trust
to be free of arsenic.

I shove my fingers in the top
and squeeze the meat inside
to make sure all foul plans I stop;
preventing regicide.

A pastry check I have to make,
done with a hefty mallet,
to see it’s had a proper bake
fit for a royal palate.

And having fully passed the test,
the pie sits on a plate
inlaid with golden royal crest,
as for the King we wait …

Yet every time, the funny thing,
is when it’s safe to bite,
His Noble Majesty the King
has lost his appetite.

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